Any kind of dating has its own set of rules. You have to know what to say and what not to so your date wouldn’t get offended, you need to know how to react in certain situations and how to make them feel comfortable. Dating a widower is complicated like that, but also a little more challenging. Some kind of behavior which would attract other guys can repel widowers. Here are top five don’ts of widower dating you should avoid if you want to have a relationship with one.
Put sex on pause
While every other guy simply can’t wait to get a green light from his date, don’t rush with sex with this one. Take it slow and don’t be the one who initiates it. He may not be ready for that step, and when he is, he will come to you. Sex is a very intimate act, and he may feel like he is cheating on his late spouse. So if he isn’t the one who is undressing you with his eyes, don’t force it. You can just scare him away if things move too fast for his taste.
He has kids? You are not their mother!
If he has children never, and we mean never try to replace their deceased mother. The chances are they won’t like you when they first meet you. If their Mom has passed not so long ago and the wounds are still fresh, let them grieve and do not interfere. Never try to win them over with expensive gifts or try to befriend them. Give them space and be patient. If your relationship with your boyfriend evolves and they figure out that you are not going anywhere and that you make their father very happy, they will start to let their guard down.
Don’t be cold
We are not expecting that you shower him with love, sympathy and compassion every minute of every day, but being emotionally distant isn’t the right way to go either. In some cases, when the man in question isn’t a widower, being distant can even attract him. men love to conquer so that would be a real challenge to them. However, when it comes to widowers, they have been through a lot of pain, so they want to spend time with someone who will give them love and affection.
Like we said, this guy has been through a lot, so don’t be rude or aggressive. He is fragile, and he has every right to be. Be kind and polite to him if you want your relationship to last. If you are harsh, you can just spook him away. This guy isn’t up for some tough love, so be gentle with him. Some guys love their ladies bossy, loud and rude, but a widower is not one of them.